No-stal-juh

-noun. a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

But unless you move on with your life, it's an arrested development. (Sia, 2007)

I thank God for a lot of things recently.

1. Thank God my mom is a hardcore-ly morning person... because I am not at all and when I must wake up early and put a 50-50 chance on any alarm that would eventually fail me, I can count on her.
2. Thank God for Skype
3. I thank God for being 20 and being where I am in my life (not geographically), I can get messed up earlier if I have to
4. Thank God for Bryce Green
5. And for Andy and Ika, they seem happy.. it gives me hope.

All the things I'm feeling grateful for at the moment, I'm learning to cherish. Your really really really good friend becomes someone else's, you guys don't conversate often anymore or care about each other as much, for example. There is such thing. Good if they smell... or tell you that you look like a monkey. It's heartfelt because... at times it's not something you did or something they did, it just happens... like a really good conversation with a stranger in a queue, until the lady says 'next'. Moments later, the bittersweet 'nooooo-stal-juh' hits.

On the other hand, I don't want to ruin good times by thinking too much about having to cherish them and lose it all. I hope not, I mean we don't yawn while we're sleeping because it's satisfied?

x.